Baby Elma Family Kitty Motherhood Pregnancy

Little Bump and Elma

05/06/2014

When we were expecting Elma we sat down with Kitty and we talked about the baby in Mama’s tummy, and that it would be a baby brother or sister, and that we’d get to bring it home with us, and that it would be staying.

And in as much as a two and a bit year old is ever going to get it, she got it. I remember her talking to the bump, and I’d never forget the excitement with which she rushed up the hospital ward to find her longed for baby sister (and me, but the baby sister was more exciting)!

Part of it at least was that she was just old enough to start to understand, and part of it was that she was in a group of little ones at nursery and through our NCT friends who were also about to be big brothers and sisters. She saw the others with their babies, and she got to understand what being a big sister might mean.

This time round, I’ve no doubt that she will continue to be the awesome big sister she already is, but Elma? Elma is a bit of a mystery.

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Well apart from two big clues. The first, when she saw me giving H’s baby cousin a cuddle at his christening and gave me a most tremendous stink eye through the conservatory window; and the second when Kitty announced an intention to come for a cuddle in bed one morning, and a tiny Elma-shaped rocket threw herself bodily across from H’s lap into my arms declaring “MINE Mummee!”

Hmm.

We talk to her about Little Bump and try to prepare her for the new arrival as best we can, and tell her that she’s going to be a big sister, and read both girls a fabulous I’m a Big Sister book that we were given when Elma arrived, but I’m not sure how much is actually sinking in, or how much she has the capacity to take in.

At very almost 18 months she just seems so little still, so very much still my baby, compared to Kitty’s two whole years at a similar stage, and where Kitty got a bit of an immersion into Big Sisterhood, Elma is part of that group of younger siblings. At least two of Kitty’s nursery companions also have little siblings in the baby section, but there aren’t too many other baby room Mummies sporting a bump right now.

She did start patting the bump the other day when we were talking about Little Bump so hopefully something is starting to stick, but I think we’ve still some way to go. And so I’m throwing the comments open for all the hints and tips you’ve got either for preparing second babies for the arrival of the third, or just another baby when you’ve got a relatively small age gap (21 months ish), or even both! What did you do, and what would you do or not do if you had your time again?

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  • Katie 05/06/2014 at 1:39 pm

    f was 2.5 when his little brother was born and i don’t think any of the chats or numerous books we bought really did much to prepare him for the shock!
    IMO i think you just chat about it now and then and hope for the best šŸ™‚ xx

    • Carie 07/06/2014 at 7:26 am

      Hope for the best is pretty much my parenting default setting!!

  • Jess @ Along Came Cherry 05/06/2014 at 8:20 pm

    Cherry was 2.5 and dealt with it terribly despite me doing everything I could to prepare her! Tiger is the same, he doesn’t even like anyone else touching me!! He goes mad when Cherry comes for a cuddle! I guess the younger they are the quicker they are to accept things though as they are so much more adaptable. It’s funny because Tiger still feels like a baby to me but he’s huge compared to an actual baby, if I saw him next to a newborn he would seem like a giant! x

    • Carie 07/06/2014 at 7:29 am

      It’s the same with Elma – she still feels like my baby because she’s still so small and snuggly next to her sister, but she’s really a proper little toddler.

  • Katie @mummydaddyme 05/06/2014 at 9:46 pm

    Oh bless her, it must all feel a bit funny because if Elma is anything like LL, I still see her as a tiny teeny baby. I am sure she will be an amazing big sister. x

    • Carie 07/06/2014 at 7:31 am

      I really hope so! I think I just have to trust that she’ll be OK – after all Kitty adapted from being a one and only, Elma at least is used to the idea for sharing me with her sister – she just doesn’t like sharing me with her cousins!!

  • Molly 06/06/2014 at 8:56 am

    I’m no expert at this at all – there’ll be four years between my two when this baby arrives. But I’ve had friends who did all the things you are doing and, eventually, it stuck. At that age, they’re so little and changing so quickly, you may find that one day something just clicks. I remember a friend who was pregnant with her third when her youngest was 2 – he cried when he found out his mummy was having another baby, saying, “But I’M the baby!” He’s now a fabulous big brother! Thank you for linking up to the #BlogBumpClub again. Love your posts. x

    • Carie 07/06/2014 at 7:32 am

      Fingers crossed – and we’ve still got a good few weeks to go so hopefully something will stick!

  • sally 06/06/2014 at 5:42 pm

    I think the main thing is just to try to give the older siblings as much love and attention and praise as possible after the baby is born. It’s so tempting to cuddle that gorgeous, soft, tiny newborn all the time, especially when you’re so tired, but it’s the older ones who need the cuddles more. Something I’m sure you know from last time around. I don’t think there’s a whole lot of anything useful you can do in advance – except to not worry! We do have a big sister book that we absolutely love, but it would probably be more appreciated by Kitty than Elma, here’s a link to it on Amazon – http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-To-Baby-Big-Sister/dp/1406323330/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1402072232&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+be+a+baby+by+me+the+big+sister
    We’d definitely recommend it, and it’s a slightly different, quirky take on the more usual new baby in the house type books. But mainly, don’t worry, it’ll all come right! And is that lovely Appledore in the background?

    • Carie 07/06/2014 at 7:37 am

      It is Appledore yes – or rather it’s Instow, we were having lunch in Appledore when we took the pictures! And thank you for the link for the big sister book, I’ll have to see what Kitty thinks of it and maybe some of it will rub off on Elma!

  • Hannah Budding Smiles 06/06/2014 at 8:25 pm

    I’m afraid I haven’t got any tips as this is my first, but I want to wish you all the best and I’m sure Elma will be amazing!xx #BlogBumpClub

    • Carie 07/06/2014 at 7:40 am

      Thank you very much šŸ™‚

  • ghostwritermummy 07/06/2014 at 8:59 am

    Hmm, I know what you mean. Bella was 2 in feb and at the moment she just doesn’t get it. She is the same age now as Luka was when she was born and he didn’t understand until she got here. When this baby comes along she will be almost 3 so I’m guessing she will understand better. I think you’re doing the right things and at the end of the day when baby is here just take it one day at a time
    xx

    • Carie 08/06/2014 at 4:01 pm

      I think that’;s it, isn’t it – I can’t really change anything now, I just need to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best!