Family Kitty {the ordinary moments}



For two years, two months and 21 days, Kitty was the only grandchild and great grandchild on both sides of the family. It’s not really the biggest of surprises that she’s never lacked for teddies, stuffies, dollies and other cuddly things. Each has been welcomed into the family, hugged tightly, and generally loved but although some have come close, no one single toy has claimed her affections to the extent that I’ve ever considered buying back ups so that the original and best could be (a) washed or (b) accidentally lost without a stratospheric collapse of toddler equanimity. And while I might have wished a little more attachment to some of the toys which I think are special, the dolly named Elma that her baby sister gave her in the hospital or the elephant which I knitted for her when she was still a bump to name but two, for the most part it’s been nice not to have to worry about finding one special stuffie from the teddy mountain ranges that span my house when it comes to bedtime.

All she wants – is my hair.


Even as a baby she would reach up and curl tiny fat little fingers tightly into any loose strands, and as she grew it stayed a constant, past the end of nursing, past the arrival of her sister, and even past my futile attempts to tie my hair up and out of the way.

If she can’t find my hair, her own will do; it’s always a big neon flashing “I’m Sleepy!!” sign when she starts sucking her thumb and twirling her hair with the spare hand, usually spotted in my rear view mirror as we pootle home from nursery.


Her idea of a cuddle is to curl up into my shoulder with one hand reaching up and round to the nape of my neck, pull my hair loose, and then hold tight, and when she climbs into our bed in the middle of the night it’s the hair pulling that gives her away. Well that and the kicking.

It’s one of those things that will pass as she grows, at least it will in its current incarnation. But for now I think it’s reassuring for both of us. Well right up until the point that holding turns into hauling and I take refuge by hiding under a pillow. It is one of the few things where only Mummy will do. It’s the thing that makes her feel safe, loved and protected.

I hope that she will learn that she doesn’t need to hold my hair over the next few years, because frankly she’s getting quite a lot stronger as she gets bigger, but I’m going to try my best to make sure that she knows that for as long as she needs me, and even when she thinks she doesn’t, I will always be her corner where she can come to hide, her comfort and her support.


mummy daddy me

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  • Katie @mummydaddyme 20/10/2013 at 9:20 am

    Aw it is so similar to Mads- she plays with ears and sucks her fingers, and you can tell straight away that she is tired. She will grab anyones that she can, but if not then her own will suffice. Funnily enough I absolutely love it, LL doesn’t do anything like it and I wish she did. Even when Mads seems big, doing that instantly makes her seem like my baby again.
    I have said it before but Kitty and Mads seem quite similar from what you write on here. x

    • Carie 20/10/2013 at 4:04 pm

      I think you’re probably right, our two biggest girls sound like they’ve got a lot in common, aside from baby sisters! And it’s so true, it’s one of the few things that brings back Kitty as a baby as opposed to my not so tiny girl!

  • Caroline 20/10/2013 at 9:27 am

    This is sweet Carie. Mine are both thumb suckers so that is our dead giveaway for sleepiness. Brodie has a toy which was given to Grier which he adopted but seems to have grown out of ‘needing’. Grier has an elephant which she absolutely must have to sleep. He was lost on Friday – husband let her take it into the garden and he was left there. She was distraught and I was furious with husband! We did eventually find him sopping wet but we are all so glad he’s home. I think you’re right – having a special comforter can be quite stressful when you can’t find him (we have a back up identical one but baby girl is too smart to fall for that…..)

    • Carie 20/10/2013 at 4:05 pm

      Thank you :). I’ve always wondered whether children are just too smart to accept the substitute – at least I know I won’t leave my hair in the garden by accident!

  • Mammasaurus 20/10/2013 at 9:31 am

    Ahh I remember my childhood best friend did the same right up until secondary school – so sweet x

    • Carie 20/10/2013 at 4:12 pm

      Secondary school! I might have to have a haircut before then!

  • Charlotte 20/10/2013 at 9:39 am

    That’s so cute! Bob has to stroke your arm which is lovely until she starts nipping. She has always done it, I regularly have bruises but they are all done in sleepy love. 🙂 x

    • Carie 20/10/2013 at 4:08 pm

      In the abstract you’d think that if someone told me I would be happy having someone pull my hair on a regular basis I’d think one of us was crazy but in reality I love that I can so easily make her happy – ah the things we do for love!

  • lucy at dear beautiful 20/10/2013 at 10:05 am

    My little man has never had any comfort whatsoever. He has a toy and taggy he likes at bedtime, but he’ll go to bed quite happily without them. It makes me a bit sad, but then I guess it’s good in the long run.
    My little lady is a thumb sucker and she fiddles with her ear/hair with the other hand. It’s so cute, and as you say, a great indicator when she’s weary.
    I think it’s lovely that Kitty likes to play with your hair (although maybe not in the middle of the night) I have a little mole on my neck which my little lady will play with for hours. Sounds random but I love it. And funnily enough I used to play with a mole on my mums neck as a baby too. Very strange! x

    • Carie 20/10/2013 at 4:11 pm

      My mum always had short hair so I don’t know it it’s an inherited trait – although I do spend far too much time twiddling my own hair – somehow my fidgeting lets my brain do the thinking uninterrupted. I don’t think I mind that she doesn’t have a favourite toy, especially as her sister has a blanket and teddy that she adores, so I might get to see both sides of the coin before we’re done!

  • Katie 20/10/2013 at 4:06 pm

    Ah so cute Carie! I used to love twiddling my own hair and sucking my thumb when i was little.

    F has a special comforter he has had since he was tiny and he always needs him to sleep. He has worn a hole in his paw from rubbing it. I am worried about losing him though – at least you can’t lose your hair! x

    • Carie 20/10/2013 at 4:19 pm

      Aww, that sounds so sweet! I don’t think I was ever desperately attached to anything as a child, although I’ve got a handful of teddies to pass on once the girls are a little bigger. You’ll have to make sure F keeps his somewhere safe once he’s grown out of teddies to pass on in turn

  • Jess @ Along Came Cherry 20/10/2013 at 4:28 pm

    That is so cute! Cherry has always slept with a muslin cloth that she calls her ‘mutti’, I’m yet to get J attached to anything other than my boob though!! x

  • Ailsa 20/10/2013 at 8:38 pm

    My daughter is 25, pregnant & has just moved out of our house but she still needs me for reassurance.

  • Carolin 20/10/2013 at 10:28 pm

    That’s adorable. Amy never really had anything like this when she was younger, but she know insists on putting the book of our bedtime story underneath her head – I always pull it out once she’s asleep 😉

  • Bex @ The Mummy Adventure 22/10/2013 at 3:55 pm

    My big little one is a thumb sucker and I love it. He has a bedtime ‘ducky’ too, but as soon as the thumb goes in I know that he is tired. My littlest doesn’t have any toy or comforter and I am hoping he will find something as it is just adorable. Your hair is a lovely (but probably painful at times) comfort x

    • Carie 22/10/2013 at 9:22 pm

      Thumbs are so handy aren’t they – they never drop them! Both of mine suck their thumbs but so far only Kitty makes a beeline for my hair! If I ever start sporting pigtails we’ll know Elma changed her mind!

  • TalesofaTwinMum 24/10/2013 at 2:28 pm

    So cute. My boys have never really been attached to any toys either. T2 always twirls his head when he’s tired – it’s so sweet. You’ve reminded me I must get a picture of it because it’s a moment that is normal now, but in two years he probably won’t do it anymore. x