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Once I was a time traveller


Well sort of.

It all started way back when I was but a dot of a newborn baby, all scrumpled pudge and dark hair. I’m told I largely resembled Captain Pugwash, and was generally referred to as ‘Scrabbit’ or ‘Miss Muffet’, but the name on my baptism certificate read Caroline Mary.

I’ve always thought it’s a nice name, though I’m biased I know; Caroline means “rejoice in song”, and was chosen both because it was pretty and because someone else chose Zoe for their little girl a week or so before I arrived (I don’t mind, I don’t think I’d have been a very good Zoe), and Mary to ensure babysitting services from both grandmothers.

The slight hitch in all this delightful baby naming is that while the baptism certificate may have read Caroline Mary, that’s not what my birth certificate said. It might have been a typo, or perhaps the registrar was just feeling creative, tired of writing out Mary after Mary after Mary (it was the eighties, and a great many things can be excused on those grounds alone). Whatever the reason, according to the government my middle name was May. You’d have to concede its an unusual choice for a little girl born in June.

It passed unnoticed for many moons, after all, when you travelled the world with your name scribbled into a parent’s passport, how often do you look at your birth certificate.

It was January when the new birth certificate was issued. I’m going to suspect early January. Really early January. Possibly 9am on the 2nd after the mother of all New Year’s parties.

My real name was neatly and correctly entered, the certificate was signed and then dated. Dated for the day and month on which it was re-signed, and curiously back dated to the year in which it was originally issued.

And so, for a little while, I possessed a certificate evidencing my birth apparently issued almost six months before I was actually born. But the bureaucratic minutiae is of course a cover. Because really there’s just one explanation; as I said, once, I was a time traveller.


I wrote this to join in with Jennie at Edspire’s link up to celebrate the start of a partnership between Mia Tui and the Lullaby Trust and the launch of the Matilda Mae bag, but real life and an overwhelming need for sleep got in the way and I’ve missed the linky. But regardless of linkies or even bad puns about being before my time, the work of the Lullaby Trust is invaluable, Mia Tui’s decision to support them is wonderful, and the bag itself is fabulous, so I’m pressing publish anyway.