I have known for some time that you are not on best terms with the English. We whinge when you’re not here and whine that it’s too hot when you are. Every time you think about making an appearance we announce record heat/drought/rain/global warming and climate change (delete as applicable). But this year I have to say (and truly it pains me to say it) that I think you could have made more of an effort.
Ungracious though we may be we do actually like it when you turn up at the party. This time you promised to turn up – your rsvp to the weather man suggested a lengthy and prolonged appearance – but while your limo cruised past the door a couple of times (thanks for 11th Aug), you yourself were a no show.
I know that you may tempt us with a brief flash as you pass on to somewhere more exciting in the next few weeks (Australia for example) but your cousin Autumn has arrived and there’s no budging her.
So for this year farewell – your end of term report reads “could do better”.