And here they are:
Fortunately for my target she lives a long way away. A very long way away. In fact between her and Birmingham central post office lies Wales, a rather large pond, a few seagulls and a couple of fields on the other side.
I estimate that the parcel will take at least a week to get to Illinois. Plus then it will be another week for her unfinished socks to get to me, unless she has already launched her weapon in which case it could be even longer. That gives my assasin at least 2 weeks to get cracking – perhaps I’m the doomed one:
Out flew the web and floated wide
The needles knit from side to side
“The curse has come upon me” cried
the Lady without a sock (with apologies to Tennyson I think!)