I have been away from Kitty overnight exactly three times in her life. Once was to stay in London for the first Blogtacular, and the other two were when I was in hospital giving birth to her siblings. For Elma it’s one Blogtacular and one sibling, and where Pip is concerned I have never left him.
I’ve had lots of days out, for fun as well as for work, and even the occasional evening out that hasn’t involved working too, but when the crunch comes, in the wee small hours I have been there. Which has generally been a pretty good thing because while Pip has just about got to the stage of waving me off in the morning with a happy smile and a “bu-bye”, when it’s dark and night and he’s sleepy there’s only one person that will do.
Which brings us to now. In a month or so it will be H and my 10th wedding anniversary and H has suggested a lovely plan, and got his parents on board, with the idea that we go to the north for the weekend in question, leave the children with my in laws and go away for a night, just the two of us.
Part of me absolutely loves the idea. The chance to spend time just with H, to have an uninterrupted conversation at a time of day when we’re not teetering on the brink of half asleep, to have a meal when I don’t have to cut up anyone else’s supper, or keep passing things, or saying “sit down please”, sounds incredibly appealing. As does the prospect of an uninterrupted night’s sleep, something that hasn’t happened since before Pip was born, and the concept of a lie in that doesn’t mean 6.30 rather than 6 just blows my mind.
But then I worry about leaving them. The girls I’m sure will be fine; they adore their grandparents and while the times when I’ve been away they’ve always been with H, I’m pretty sure that in the excitement and distractions of Grandma and Grandad’s house, and seeing their auntie who lives nearby they’ll barely notice we’ve gone.
But Pip? He’ll be fine during he day, he’s used to me not being around while I’m at work and he’s happily toddled off on expeditions to the supermarket without us on previous trips, I’m just not sure about bedtime, or if he does crash asleep in Grandma’s cuddles, what happens when he wakes up at midnight with a plaintive cry of “Mummeeee” and I’m not there.
It’s been such a hard one to call; on the one hand I would love to go away overnight, but if I think he’s going to think I’ve abandoned him and left him forever, would it be worth it? Would I really enjoy it? And should we just go out for lunch instead?
Except what’s really truly the worst that could happen? Pip struggles to go to sleep and one of my lovely in laws spends much of the evening, and possibly a few early hours either driving him around the scenic route that is “Yorkshire in the dark”, or pottering around the house with him in the sling until he nods off. They’re not going to let him cry, there are ways and means of settling him without me, we’ve just never had to try them in the middle of the night before.
And so we’re going for it. With copious pre-prepared apologies for the inlaws and assuming that H can decide on somewhere to go and get around to booking it before we get to April of course.
Just tell me that you’ve left your little ones and it was all fine and wonderful OK?!